Sunday, April 19, 2009

Man vs bug

What a grand and glorious day today, I think we have finally welcomed in spring with all her warm caresses and smiling sunshine kisses.

I have stripped of my winter duds and am layering shirts with tank tops to accommodate the afternoon heat. My peas are finally up a whole half-inch, and my husband’s pumpkins and watermelons that he started in his clever cold frame have put on 6 inches since they broke ground.

The curious tulips that braved the end of winter to herald the coming of the new season are just about spent in the warmth and the beautiful red and yellow and purple petals are falling.

A good breeze loosens the blossoms from our backyard apple tree and pear tree and I stand in a shower of petals. It is a moment to mark; you are only allowed so many petal showers in any given year. Thank you God for grand and glorious moments such as these.

And along with the entire splendorous scene, comes the bugs.

Pause for a smile, its all part of God's amazing plan.

Big bugs, lovely bugs if you are a chicken scratching dirt in your happy home, but accursed bugs, if you are in your back yard minding your own business in the airspace of a wasp that sees your presence as an intrusion.

I hear the buzz, I see the hovering creature, my skin crawls, the hairs on my arms bristle and the adrenalin courses through my veins as fight or flight kicks in.

Of course I retaliate, I bat bare handed in the air in front of me to try to shoo the offender away. That only seems to spark the jesting fighter in this damnable bug, because it does not retreat.

Is that really a buzz I hear, or is that little tiny laughter?

I am further attacked. So I flee to a safe distance and watch with a hateful glare the beast that has driven me from my garden. Day in day out, spring brings the wonderful and the not so wonderful.

Last week I was out to coffee with my lovely friends from Curves, and we were like 4 spring birds on a branch. The chirps were flying fast and furious, and we just couldn't finish a sentence fast enough to get onto the next idea that we wanted to share. Our conversation was heavily cafeinated and I really think we did solve the world’s problems. 'Hello...President Obama?' Well in the midst of this flurry I learned a new fact!

Yes, I'm sharing; I was told WD40 is a wasp deterrent and killer.

My response, "Wwwwhhhaaaaatt???"

I was incredulous. How did I live this long with those nasty creatures from the lower world and not know about this innocuous home remedy? So I did a little research and low and behold there are thousands of uses for this miracle in a can.

Remove strong glue
You didn't wear protective gloves when using that super-strong glue and now some of it is super-stuck to your fingers! Don't panic. Just reach for the WD-40, spray some directly on the sticky fingers, and rub your hands together until your fingers are no longer sticky. Use WD-40 to remove the glue from other unwanted surfaces as well.

Separate stuck glassware (guilty: I do this all the time)
What can you do when you reach for a drinking glass and get two locked together, one stuck tightly inside the other? You don't want to risk breaking one or both by trying to pull them apart. Stuck glasses will separate with ease if you squirt some WD-40 on them, wait a few seconds for it to work its way between the glasses, and then gently pull the glasses apart. Remember to wash the glasses thoroughly before you use them.

Remove chewing gum from hair (I wish I would have know this back in the day)
It's one of an adult's worst nightmares: chewing gum tangled in a child's hair. You don't have to panic or run for the scissors. Simply spray the gummed-up hair with WD-40, and the gum will comb out with ease. Make sure you are in a well-ventilated area when you spray and take care to avoid contact with the child's eyes.

Relieve arthritis symptoms (?????)(I'm still incredulous)
For occasional joint pain or arthritis symptoms in the knees or other areas of the body, advocates swear by spraying WD-40 on the affected area and massaging it in, saying it provides temporary relief and makes movement easier. For severe, persistent pain, consult a health care professional.

Remove stickers from glass
What were the manufacturers thinking when they put that sticker on the glass? (I say that a lot, 'what were they thinking') Don't they know how hard it is to get off? When soap and water doesn't work and you don't want to ruin a fingernail or risk scratching delicate glass with a blade, try a little WD-40. Spray it on the sticker and glass, wait a few minutes, and then use a no-scratch spatula or acrylic scraper to scrape the sticker off. The solvents in WD-40 cause the adhesive to lose its stickiness.

These uses were found here: with too many more to list. Have barnacles on your boat? Yup, WD40 will take care of them. Bloodstains? Yup, use as prewash. Burrs in animal fur? mmm hmmm. Use before combing. Got flies on your cows? I'm telling you!!! The list goes on.

But the primo use as far as I'm concerned is retaliation, sweet revenge.

Had you fooled did I? All this fluff and pink and soft music and pretty vintage pictures led you to believe I was a sweetheart pacifist. HA. I am loading for bear, suiting up, buying 2 cans with the nozzle and getting the ladder out. (They sneak into the holes in my eaves) Gonna turn the tides of this war!

Hasta la vista baby

Find elegant garden clean up:

Vintage Images:

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